With a Twist of Lyme

Living with Lyme Disease

Divine Order Within a Lyme Disorder - Part 1

TODAY'S MENU
Near Miss
It's ALL OK
Jesus, Buddha, and Hostess 'Ding Dongs'


Near Miss
The other day while driving to what now appears to be my newest career, where I am "employed” as a perpetual cranky-ass patient, I was almost involved in a wreck. Of course, the wreck would not have been my fault, mind you, but I would have been dead just the same.

I’m a good driver, despite the fact that when I move my head I feel like my brain is dancing to hip-hop music, and my eyeballs are trying desperately to feel the beat. It was the other driver whom was clearly at fault, which I hate to admit was a woman. She & her fast moving Jeep decided to take a wet corner at an inappropriate speed. What a bitch. It was a near miss.

It was one of those moments where you know a miracle occurred and you want to pull the car over and just cry for a minute because you’re grateful that all of your bodily organs are still safely enclosed within your skin – even though some organs may not be operating at peak performance. And then for the next few hours you ponder a bit about this thing called life and your own mortality.

It was a good thing I was headed to my doctor’s office so that I could have all that extra time to wait and ponder; wait and ponder. So I did. A lot.

First – I know that what bullshit I experience from day to day pales in comparison to so many others. I may feel like shit – but I realize that others feel even shittier. I realize other people aren’t fortunate enough to have insurance at all, so they are at the mercy of whatever doc is available at reduced rates, or at a free clinic where they will have to sit hours on end…because our country is screwed up when it comes to health care…which is another subject entirely. I realize so many people don't have the luxury of "shopping around" for a Lyme literate doctor and must take what they get.

I know all this, yet there are so many times that I just wallow in my own pain. I try to do this in private, as it is not pretty - and being the hot babe that I am, I just loathe the idea of sullying my image. (Is “sullying” even a word? I know "sully" is....but "sullying"? Sounds strange - but I like it.)

When the Tsunamis hit Southeast Asia a few weeks ago, I suddenly gained a new perspective. Maybe it wasn’t exactly a new perspective – but just one that I keep forgetting to use. The Tsunamis just reminded me.

It's ALL OK
The following will be me trying to explain, in as many words as possible, what my highest perspective is about Life in general, and maybe I’ll figure out why I keep forgetting to remember it. (Are we confused yet?) Most likely I will hop down a few rabbit trails because writing is more fun that way.

I have come to believe that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Now granted, sometimes the human experience ain’t all that enjoyable – but sometimes its fan-damn-tastic!

Don’t ask me when or where I came to this belief – but it works for me. I like the idea that the few years I get in this particular body are not the ALL of my existence because it would lead me to think, “What’s the damn point?”

I certainly do believe in a Higher Power, but I don’t think that Higher Power is hiding behind the clouds pulling strings like we’re all puppets; nor is that Higher Power sitting back just waiting for us to all ‘F’ up so we can then be punished for all eternity. I think that Higher Power is within all of us – even though we’re mostly unaware of it.

The other day at church I was talking to one of my friends who is like a personal mini-guru because wise shit just comes out of her mouth a lot, and I was asking for her support in prayer. I was (and still am) in the middle of trying to determine whether I should just stick with the “natural” way to my Lyme cure… or switch to “mainstream” medicine or do both.

In the course of the conversation, I revealed that I guess my greatest fear is that I’ll drop dead from Lyme carditis, or some neurological aspect that is really really bad but I don’t know what that would be because I haven’t read that far in my books, because honestly, I’m just too afraid! Anyway, what she said to me kind of took me aback for a few seconds.

In response to my fear of dying (and don’t we all have that?) – she said:


“The so-called ‘worst’ thing that can happen with this experience(having Lyme) is that you die. The 'best' thing that can happen is that you heal from it and go on to do great things with your life. Either way – everything is OK.”

Now if I didn’t know her – I would think she was saying she didn’t really give a rat’s ass if I croaked at that very moment. But I realized that what she was trying to communicate to me was to not be afraid. Again – because we are spiritual beings having a human experience – the REAL ME never really dies – only this haggard body.

She, knowing how sensitive I can be, did have sense enough to interject:


“Now don’t get me wrong, we’ll all miss you. But when it’s your time to leave the planet – when you’re through experieicng what this human life has for you to experience and learn – then it’s time to move on.”

Naturally I’ve taken some liberties with quoting her because as you may know, lymies generally have memory problems and I wasn’t wearing a ‘wire’…although recording all of my conversations might be fun and practical, as well. (Note to self: Tape record all doctors appointments…it'll be a great experiement, too.)

Anyway – what I realized she was telling me is that : It’s all OK.

Amidst all the tragedies, and the suffering here on planet Earth – ultimately, it’s all OK because we are all ETERNAL. These shitty moments on Earth are like a blinking of the eyes...this "suffering" we experieince on Earth is only temporary...even though it may feel like eternity - it's not.


Jesus, Buddha, and Hostess 'Ding Dongs'
I remember reading somewhere that the Buddha said:


“Life is suffering.”
I don’t know much about Buddha. I just know that some of my extended family members happen to be faithful stoners, and they have those cheap pottery renditions of Buddha that portray him as being a big smiling, laughing fat-ass. Which leads me to ask: Can you imagine the gastrointestinal disturbances he must have had? And the back pain and the foot pain from having to hoist all that weight around all damn day? No wonder he was suffering! But then I wonder – why in the hell is he always smiling? Has he just eaten the ancient version of a Hostess ‘Ding-Dong’ or what? (I love ‘Ding-Dongs’ – don’t you?) I just find it interesting that he said ‘Life is suffering’ – yet there he sits grinning, fully satisfied.

I also wonder: Why do true-blue potheads always have some sort of Buddha sitting around their house – or in their special pot rooms? I’m guessing that it’s that pothead desire to philosophize & ponder existential matters that draw them to Buddha. I know nothing about Buddha personally, and wonder how he would feel about that.

What’s funny is that most of those extended stoner family members were raised in mainstream Christianity and still profess to be Christian – well, some of them do. But I wonder why they don’t have pictures of Jesus in their special pot rooms too? I think Jesus liked to philosophize about existential matters, too. Otherwise, how would he have come up with all those good parables? Maybe it’s because there are very few images of Jesus laughing and having a good time? And I wonder how Jesus would feel about that.

I think most stoners just want to have a good time or to escape the grim realities of their daily grind – and they haven’t yet figured out a way to do it without the aid of illegal chemicals. I surmise most stoners wouldn’t enjoy looking at the representation of a brutal death on a cross as a source of relaxation. Just a hunch. At least the images of Buddha make it appear that he knew how to relax…or at least his image represented that he, too, got a serious case of the munchies from time to time.

And don’t misunderstand. I am NOT in any way implying that Jesus, or Buddha ever hung out with stoners, or that they consumed 'Ding Dongs' of any kind, because that would be rather sacrilegious , don't you think? And I wouldn't want you to think badly of me.........wait a minute, I have to take a moment to stop laughing. (Don't you love it when you can make your own self laugh - even if you're the only one laughing? Perhaps the sign of a truly demented mind...??)

I just think it’s funny that it’s OK for Buddha to watch them load their bongs – but not Jesus. That’s all I was saying with that. It was just an observation. Nothing more.

See – that was just a little rabbit trail – and wasn’t that fun?

Back to suffering…

I currently believe that because I am made in the image of God (and you are too; I’m not setting myself up to become your personal messiah - cause honey, I’m busy.)

So if I believe I am made in the image of God, my logic says to me that:

I too am creative, because God, the Creator, is creative.
I too am powerful, because God, the Omnipotent is powerful.
I too am loving and lovable, because God is love.
I too am spirit, because God is spirit.

I don’t think any of those statements are whack, do you? (I think that’s the first time I used the word ‘whack’ in a sentence. Don’t know where that came from. I must be watching too much TV. Golly jeepers, I hope I used it correctly.)

So if I am the image of God – then I’m guessing I’ve got some kind of input about what my human experience has been and is to be. This is just my working theory, and I’m glad I’m not actually having a conversation with some of you because some of you like to beat people up with your religion; and thanks to my fibromyalgia, I already feel like someone has beat the pure shit out of me while I was exercising with 200 pound weights during a bad case of the flu. So quite frankly, I don’t need your extra bullshit. I am truly grateful for this silent cyber-venue.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think:

A: At some unconscious or pre-conscious level, I agreed to experience all this shit for the educational value of it.
OR
B: Because I am powerful, the spiritual me has called this Lymie situation into my life for some great educational purpose, and once I learn what I need to, I can move on.
OR
C: Because I am powerful, the spiritual me has called this Lymie situation into my life because the human me is ignorant to the fact that I am also a powerful, spiritual me - and once I discover how creative, and powerful I am – I can make it go away.
OR
D: All of the above.
OR
E: None of the above.

At this point, I’m not really bent out of shape that I don’t know which bubble to fill in on my spiritual scantron test sheet, and honestly I don’t think it matters.

What matters is that I am on a path, and that I am not afraid…at least not at this very moment when I am really trying to be more in touch with my spiritual self. Tomorrow may be a different story and my raving, frantic inner lunatic may re-emerge. Hell, that may even happen in the next 10 minutes for all I know.

But what I take comfort in is knowing that a TRUTH far GRANDER than my current experiences exists.

It’s important to have something that gives you comfort – even if you’re not real clear on the details.

I have more to say on this subject…but I suddenly have a craving for sweet chocolately goodness with a rich, creamy filling….and NO, I’m NOT stoned! I’m not even adequately medicated!

2 Talking Back with DR Wiseass:

At 3:44 PM, Blogger Agate said...

You're right, it is funny that pot heads would want to get stoned with the image of Buddha beside them, and not Jesus. I have mental images of Jesus smiling and laughing and having a good time. I don't know where I got them from though. It's certainly not the way he is depticted most of the time. Jesus hung around with other fringe members of society--the tax collectors and prostitutes, so he probably wouldn't take offense to the idea of hanging out with stoners.
I enjoyed your thoughts today. A lot of it was stuff I'd thought before. Yes, it is all okay, if we die. We are spiritual beings, and there is something greater for us than this experience on Earth. I have thought before that I was powerful enough to find solutions to my problems, and that if I didn't, it must be because part of me didn't want to, but it never occured to me that I might have selected the problem, on an unconscious or spiritual level. Wow. Neat idea.
But if I have the power to do that, and then the power to solve my problems, what role is God playing? We agreed that while he's not pulling all the strings he's also not just sitting back and leaving us to screw up. If your choice C is true, then our spiritual selves know everything, and make choices to teach our human selves. If that was the case, what would we need God for?

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger pedro velasquez said...

March 10, 2005. sportsbook Just came back from my Lyme God meeting, which was at the 6-month point of IV treatment for the lyme. Seems we have a grip on the lyme but now we must address the 2 other ailments I'm plagued with. Babesiosis and severe yeast infection. bet nfl The babesia is a parasite infection similar to malaria! Unbelievable. The yeast is not what one may think of yeast infections.
http://www.enterbet.com

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

Google
 
Web www.twistoflyme.blogspot.com

With a Twist of Lyme