All Shook Up

Yeah, it's been 11 days since my last post - but THIS time I don't feel guilty at all. I'm too damn tired & miserable to feel guilty; besides - I've got a good excuse.

TODAY'S MENU
Shaking in My Boots
Shake it Up Baby



Shaking in My Boots
If I remember correctly (and these days I rarely do), I believe in my last post I wrote about my new diagnosis of Babesiosis? (I really should read my own posts...)

Since that time, my hands and arms have been trembling uncontrollably. And trust me - I'm not really nervous about anything....other than, of course, the shaking and what it could imply.

I know the title says: "Shaking in my Boots." That was misleading, I admit. First of all, it's no longer boot season around here - unless you consider rain boots, which I do not currently own, although I should. I just couldn't think of anything else...I am working with some limitations, as we all know!

At first, I was just certain that the trembling of my arms & hands had to do with my increase in my med, Neurontin. I've been taking Neurontin for a few years now - 900 mg at bedtime. As far as I'm concerned, I've never had any problems with it. But at my last LLMD visit, he increased my dose to 300mg (1 pill) during the morning, and 1 pill in the afternoon.

Whenever I experience any new symptoms, I first try to blame it on any new medication I'm taking. I think it's a more positive approach to this bullshit if I can blame it on some medication, you know?

I called my pharmacist, and he said that, "YES" Neurontin can cause my new symptoms.

Whew! I was releived about that news! All I have to do is stop the daily doses of Neurontin and Poof! the symptoms will go away, right?

Wrong.

My hands still tremble - even now. It makes it a little difficult to type, especially when I'm feeling extra weak. There are times that I just get all wigged out mentally because I feel like I have less muscle control sometimes. That's a scary ass feeling. So I'm thinking: "Great, now I have a combo set of symptoms resembling MS and/or Parkinsons." Life is full of variety.

Naturally, I've called my doctor's office in hopes that he might get on the phone and tell me not to worry about it. This has yet to happen. But I'm trying not to worry anyway. This usually works unless I have to actually use my hands for any task like typing, writing, bringing a loaded fork to my mouth, applying mascara, etc... Sometimes I think my life might make a decent documentary....ok, docudrama....or docu-melodrama.

Sometimes I feel the shaking all the way up my arm, especially when I feel fatigued. Sometimes I wonder, just how many of my body parts are actually trembling now?

My legs & feet could be trembling all the time too, but I don't really have the strength to hold them out in frontof me, suspended in air to be examined, for longer than about 5 seconds. Perhaps I should worry about that shit, huh?

I do notice my legs shaking when I'm sitting on the toilet. You know how your legs can shake after you've hiked about 3 miles uphill? (OK, I've never done this, but I have been to Carlsbad Caverns as a youngster, and I remember those shakes...) Anyway, so I just try not to have to take a piss too often so I don't get disturbed by my trembling legs.

The bad thing about me taking myself off the extra daily Neurontin is that my neuropathy pain is now a total bitch! That's why I asked for the increase, because the neuropathy was getting worse. Now it's worse than worse. Perhaps I should worry about that shit, huh?

NO. Worrying is not going to make any of this bullshit any more bearable....or is it bareable? Piss! I have a damned worthless degree in English and am constantly having trouble with those homonyms. Those were homonyms, right?

Anyway, I called my doc's office twice. I still haven't heard from him, but I realize he's busy with other high maintenance patients like myself, so I'm trying not to be judgmental about this oversight on his part, or that of his nurse. Besides, if I make myself too much of a pain in their ass, he may want me to come to his office earlier than my next scheduled appointment - which shit, I don't feel that damn good. Also, he's out of my network so I have to pay some serious bucks to see him.

So instead, I just sit home & try to count all the money I'm saving by NOT seeing him this week....except I have to keep starting over because I get distracted from the counting because as I've mentioned, my damn hands are shaking like shit, and I'm about to piss in my boots! Oh wait, I'm not wearing boots...


Shake It Up Baby
During my last two posts, I think I may have shocked some of you by encouraging - or DEMANDING that you write your elected officials and the media.

I surmise you have not done this because you have not written to me to brag about your accomplishment.

I do not judge you. Advocacy takes some effort. Sometimes it may feel like a total waste of valuable time....but I ask you: What the hell ARE you doing?

Most of you spend a great deal of time on your computers, don't you? Many of you can no longer work because of the Lyme & accompanying ailments...so what ARE you doing?

If you are anything like me you are sitting your ass around in the Lazy boy or lying in bed watching soap operas that have the most ridiculous of plot lines. (I swear - the writers of the NBC daytime soaps must be doing drugs!)

But I can multitask despite this Lyme bullshit!

I am in the process of starting a new website. Notice the phrase: "in the process" - which is very slow at this point because my brain is not cooperating with my emotional desire to get some words on the screen.

Somewhere along the way, I really decided that I must be an advocate for the "victims" of this disease. And believe me - this desire is not some altruistic desire on my part...it's really about saving my own ass, and perhaps those of my family....and of course, the asses of my new Lymie friends.

I know it's not necessarily fun to hear me dictate to you about what we need to be doing. And it's actually funny that I have the balls to try to "dictate" anything - especially since I'm a political idiot. But as they say on the waffle commercial, "It's not rocket surgery!"

Lyme ain't all fun and games, you know. There are some serious sides to this shit. And I'm serious about becoming more politically active....despite the fact that even when I just type the words 'politically active' it gives me a bad taste in my mouth....or is that my Biaxin?

I really think that together we can "shake some things up" with regards to this disease. We just need to do a little twisting, and shouting, and 'working things out'. But we have to work things out together. (Don't leave me 'dancing' alone!)

I'll be letting you know when I get the new website up & running; but in the meantime, feel free to share your ideas with me about what I should include on the new site. I don't really want to "reinvent the wheel" and copy all the stuff that is already on some really great sites. I'm not saying that I won't - I'm just saying that I'd prefer to have a unique style. Got suggestions?

PLEASE leave a comment, or send me an email: dr-wiseass@sbcglobal.net

Hugs & Kisses,
DR Wiseass